(humor or truth? In this world today, this could be true!!! 🙂
The new CEO OF CITIBANK????
Somali Pirates in Discussions to Acquire Citigroup
(BN) Somali Pirates in Discussions to Acquire CitigroupBy Andreas Hippin
November 20 (Bloomberg)
(BN) Somali Pirates in Discussions to Acquire CitigroupBy Andreas Hippin
November 20 (Bloomberg)
— The Somali pirates, renegade Somalis
known for hijacking ships for ransom in the Gulf of Aden, are
negotiating a purchase of Citigroup.
known for hijacking ships for ransom in the Gulf of Aden, are
negotiating a purchase of Citigroup.
The pirates would buy Citigroup with new debt and their existing
cash stockpiles, earned most recently from hijacking numerous ships,
including most recently a $200 million Saudi Arabian oil tanker. The
Somali pirates are offering up to $0.10 per share for Citigroup, pirate
spokesman Sugule Ali said earlier today. The negotiations have entered
the final stage, Ali said. “You may not like our price, but we are not
in the business of paying for things. Be happy we are in the mood to
offer the shareholders anything,” said Ali.
cash stockpiles, earned most recently from hijacking numerous ships,
including most recently a $200 million Saudi Arabian oil tanker. The
Somali pirates are offering up to $0.10 per share for Citigroup, pirate
spokesman Sugule Ali said earlier today. The negotiations have entered
the final stage, Ali said. “You may not like our price, but we are not
in the business of paying for things. Be happy we are in the mood to
offer the shareholders anything,” said Ali.
The pirates will finance part of the purchase by selling new Pirate
Ransom Backed Securities
Ransom Backed Securities
. The PRBS’s are backed by the cash flows from
future ransom payments from hijackings in the Gulf of Aden. Moody’s and
S&P have already issued their top investment grade ratings for the
PRBS’s.
future ransom payments from hijackings in the Gulf of Aden. Moody’s and
S&P have already issued their top investment grade ratings for the
PRBS’s.
Head pirate, Ubu Kalid Shandu, said “we need a bank so that we
have a place to keep all of our ransom money. Thankfully, the
dislocations in the capital markets has allowed us to purchase Citigroup
at an attractive valuation and to take advantage of TARP capital to grow
the business even faster.”
have a place to keep all of our ransom money. Thankfully, the
dislocations in the capital markets has allowed us to purchase Citigroup
at an attractive valuation and to take advantage of TARP capital to grow
the business even faster.”
Shandu added, “We don’t call ourselves pirates. We are coastguards and
this will just allow us to guard our coasts better.”
this will just allow us to guard our coasts better.”
